


so you would always be laughing

by oh-how-charming (twofourteen)



Series: the best thing in the world (except for cough drops) [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Alternate Universe - Human, Always Female Stiles Stilinski, Female Stiles Stilinski, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:13:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24149515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twofourteen/pseuds/oh-how-charming
Summary: “I think my lizard brain wanted cuddles."
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Series: the best thing in the world (except for cough drops) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1738996
Comments: 9
Kudos: 180





	so you would always be laughing

**Author's Note:**

> I've been a part of fandom for over 20 years, and very rarely find myself confident enough to produce any works like this. Blame it on a global pandemic, depression, ADHD and an uncontrollable urge for a never ending supply of female Stiles Stilinski.
> 
> I was so overwhelmed that I even got 1 kudo on the first scene dump thing, let alone ONE HUNDRED. I seriously cried a little. 
> 
> This is just some scenes of their firsts (kiss, I love you, farting, drunken savior) together.
> 
> Not beta'ed or anything, as it was just a brain dump of scene ideas.
> 
> Title from - “The first time I heard you laugh, / I only wanted to say funny things / so you would always be laughing." - Kamand Kojouri

Dive bars aren’t places that people usually  _ celebrate _ things at, but when Derek makes his way to the bar, he sees the three corner booths decked out with ridiculous streamers and tawdry decorations; he’s pretty sure someone just threw a handful of confetti on an innocent passerby. 

“To everyone’s favorite So..”

“Don’t even try to pronounce it you fool.”

“...oh fuck you, I am cultured. I could say it if I wasn’t shit faced. We all know who we are here to celebrate.”

A round of cheers followed, and there were actual noise makers, the shrill noise followed by uproarious laughter. 

Derek was just taking a pull from his beer when someone snuck up behind him, a loud stage whisper in his ear, “ _ Heeey _ ! Officer Hottie!” And then a sprinkle of confetti rained down on him. “How’s my second favorite member of our local police force doing on this  _ fine _ night.” 

“Stiles, hey.” He grinned into his beer, shaking off most of the loose confetti from his hair, “Didn’t picture you as a dive bar girl.” 

“Uhh. Dive bar  _ lady _ , thank you. I’m fancy. I’ve got layers. I’m college educated and all graduated with my big degree and so I am celebrating.” She gestured towards the corner covered in streamers, threw some more confetti up in the air. “You know, I am pretty sure I have cried into every beer glass here. The first year of my master’s program was a bit of a beast.” She grabbed his beer from his hands, took a sip, put it back in his grasp before he could react. She eyed him, leaning down to rest her chin in the palm of her hand. 

“I am pretty sure your dad has been floating down the hallway all week. He has told pretty much everyone in the building, including the people he has arrested.” Derek took another pull of his beer, “Congrats by the way, it’s a huge accomplishment.”

Stiles flushed a little bit, “Thanks. I mean, I know I am amazing and I’ve worked myself into way too many tailspins of mental anguish to not talk myself up for actually finishing, but it’s still nice to hear. I’m hoping my dad doesn’t show up at the ceremony in actual cheerleading gear.” She grinned at him and his face scrunching up, “Try not to picture the pom poms or him doing any high kicks - nightmares for days.”

Derek let out a long laugh, trying really hard not to visualize anything to save his sanity. They sat in silence for a little bit after that. Stiles sat down on the stool next to him, kicking her feet back and forth, occasionally bumping his ankle. She kept eyeing him, then turning back to look at her friends celebrating in the corner.

“My friends have all crossed the line of drunken haziness to shitfaced, and I think they have forgotten about me. Tell me a joke.” She let one foot rest between the his, while the other one still slowly swung back and forth.

“What do you call a reptile that goes undercover?”

She pondered for a second, squinting her eyes at him. “This is going to be a horrible dad joke, I can just tell. Did my  _ dad _ actually tell you this one?”

Derek grinned, “An investi _ -gator _ .” 

Stiles snorted, “That was horrible.”

“Courtesy of my precious niece. She wants to be Nancy Drew when she grows up.”

“For her sake, and shit that’s precious, I hope she works on her material.”

“She’s only six, she’s got time… your turn.” He made a gesture for her to continue.

“Oh god, okay.” Stiles wrapped her arm around Derek’s, resting her chin on his shoulder. (Derek’s heart didn’t skip a beat, he just had heart palpitations or something. It was  _ fine _ .) “I don’t have any adorable nieces or nephews to steal jokes from, so you can’t judge me. Why is Peter Pan always flying?”

The bartender had dropped off another beer for him, so he took a quick pull from it, grinning, “Because he neverlands.”

She squeezed his arm, “No fair! I’ve spent the last seven years hiding in a library. And I have no cherubesque children related to me that will supply me with never ending, precious little jokes.” She stole another pull from his beer. “Alright, al _ right _ . I think it’s time to get to know Derek Hale.” She touched the bottle to his nose. “We’re playing 20 questions!” She untangled herself from him, shook out her hands, cracked her neck and back, stretched her hands above her head like she was preparing for a bar brawl, “You ready to reveal your deep dark secrets?” (Derek didn’t stare at inches of pale skin exposed on her stomach. He didn’t.)

“Does that count as a question?”

“...oh, you’re a quick study. Nop-ah.”

“Do we have to answer our own questions?”

“Duh. Me first!” Stiles pulled the stool a little closer to Derek, sitting down and again intertwining her legs on the rungs of his chair. “Hmmm. Let’s start easy… ish. Ever been arrested? I have. Twice.”

Derek grinned, “How’d that go for your dad?”

“Well, he was the one that arrested me. Both times. The turd.”

“You’re going to have to tell me about that sometime… And the answer is no. I’m a good boy.” He grinned around his beer as he took another sip as Stiles guffawed. “Favorite pizza topping?”

“...I mean, that’s not a deep dark secret of any kind because it’s clearly ham and pineapple.”

“You should probably keep that a secret though.” Stiles stuck her tongue out at him and motioned for him to answer, “I like sausage.” Stiles snickered. “ _ Stop _ .”

“Sausage… Heh.” She eyed him, grinning, “Craziest place you’ve had sex?”

“Bouncy house at my niece’s birthday party.”

“...oh my god, how didn’t you get arrested for  _ that _ ?!”

“It was after the party. Apparently soccer moms dig this.” Derek gestured to himself while smiled hummed in agreement.

“Ah yes, the after party of a young child’s birthday. That’s where all the good hookups come from… Were there drugs and hookers there too?”

“Seven year olds do have the best angel dust.” Derek grinned, “What about you?”

“Angel dust? No, I don’t have any connections.” Stiles grinned, resting her forehead against his shoulder for a second. “Let’s say… the public restroom at the police station.” She wiggled her eyebrows at him. “No! Wait. At a circus!”

Derek raised an eyebrow, “Clowns?”

Stiles sighed, a dreamy air, “No. Acrobats.”

“...plural?”

She grinned, “Is that your question?” He nodded in agreement. “Plural. Oh god. So plural.”

“Well, at least it wasn’t plural clowns. I don’t think I could maintain eye contact with you anymore if that was the case.”

“Pshh. Funny guy. You know, you’ve gotta answer the question too.”

“Have I ever had sex with multiple acrobats at once? No, no I have not.”

“I guess I’ll have to count that as a valid answer. Here’s a lightweight one… favorite movie?”

“A New Hope.”

“That is such a dude answer,  _ dude _ .”

Derek motioned to himself, “If the shoe fits?”

“Big shoes, I bet.” Stiles grinned at the joke and Derek just raised an eyebrow. “Okay, okay. My favorite movie is… Young Frankenstein.”

“Ignoring the obvious lust for neck bolts, let’s go… what’s the sexiest body part? I’m fond of fingers…”

“...fond of fingers? Who  _ says that _ and doesn’t expect jokes. Fond of  _ fingers _ !?”

“Shut up and answer, Stiles.”

“Fond of fingers,  _ jesus _ .” She flexed her fingers against his arm, “I don’t know what it is, but lower back. Like, if you have a tramp stamp my fond fingers will fondle it.” Derek choked a little on the next sip of beer.

They continued on, firing off questions, and Stiles may have laughed so hard she nearly fell off the stool more than once. They each had a question or two left when someone came over and leaned into Stiles.

“Stiiiles. You’re missing your fiesta. As much as fun he looks like he is because  _ wow _ -” Stiles grinned at the guy glommed on to her back and high whispered “I know huh?” much to Derek’s chagrin, “I need you to come over here and have at least two shots and some curly fries with us. And one of them needs to be a body shot because this is the last time we can act like idiots now that we have to be ad _ ults _ .” He looked at Derek, “I bet you and body shots would end well.”

Stiles let out another loud laugh (and Derek’s heart stopped) and untangled her legs from Derek’s and let go of the arm that she had started clinging to, “Don’t sexually harass him. That’s my job.”

“She is really good at it.” Stiles turned to him and grinned wide. “Must be all that high end college education.”

“And a middle school sense of humor… alright, Scott, let’s go stuff me full of curly fries and cheap vodka. You -” She pointed at Derek as she was being half dragged away, “Need to say bye before you leave? Or come have some shots with drunk nerds?”

“I actually have to head out soon. I’ve got a weird midshift tomorrow.”

“Oh. Okay! I totally respect not wanting to be hungover and solvin’ crime at the same time. Look at you, responsible adult Ken.”

Scott looked at him, “I thought that was Derek?”

“...oh my  _ god _ how drunk are you right now?” Stiles got dragged back over to the corner and she waved back at Derek. There was suddenly more confetti thrown about and then an impressive pile of curly fries arrived to the cheers of many.

Derek finished the last of his beer, paid his tab (and maybe paid $50 on the party’s tab) and was getting ready to head out. Stiles was fully involved in her celebration and Derek didn’t want to pull her away from her friends. He stepped outside and took a few deep breaths. He was walking home, like a responsible police officer who just drank probably one too many beers. As he was double checking his pockets to make sure his phone and wallet weren’t left behind the door swung open behind him.

“ _ Hey _ . You didn’t say bye! And we never finished our  _ game _ .” He turned on his heels and found Stiles behind him, covered in confetti. She had her eyes squinted at him. “You still owe me one more answer.” Stiles walked up to him, letting her sandals align toe to toe with him. She bit her lip, looked down at their feet and then looked up at him. She grabbed the zipper pull on his jacket and swung it around, moving his jacket back and forth.

“You looked pretty involved, I didn’t want to kill the vibe.”

“Pfft. No vibe you could kill. They are just fighting over the philosophy of George Lucas’s representation of gender in the Star Wars franchise or something.” She tapped her ankle against his, “You’d  _ love  _ it.”

Derek let a small smile play across his lips, “That does sound highly entertaining.” There was a small pause as they both stood there, Stiles still playing with his zipper. Derek rubbed his hand across his face. “Stiles…”

(This tension was new. This tension was different. Different from the other times they have come in contact with each other the past few months, since the first time. Derek was pretty sure people across the street could hear his heartbeat. He was surprised the cement he was standing on wasn’t cracking from the jackhammer that was going off in his chest.)

“So. That last question, huh.” She looked at his chin, his ear, his (fond) fingers, his shoes. She took a breath, held it in for a beat and then blew it out. He tapped his ankle against hers and she looked up at him. “I have to phrase this in a way that when we write each other cheesy letters for our 30th anniversary, we can quote it and laugh at how adorable we were - before menopause and male pattern baldness ruined us.”

“Sti-”

“Would you just kiss me? Phrased as a que-” Before Stiles could finish, Derek had her wrapped up in his arms, lips pressed to hers.

\--

They were both spread out on Stiles’ couch, full of pizza. They were watching some procedural cop drama to see who could solve the crime of the week first. They were each leaning against opposite arms of the couch, their legs intertwined. 

Stiles made a funny face, and then looked at Derek slack jawed. “ _ DEREK _ ! Did you just  _ fart _ ? In front of me? A prim and proper  _ lady _ ?”

“...it’s natural…”

“Oh my  _ god _ . What did you eat? You  _ stink _ !” Stiles was fanning the air around her, laughing. “You are sleeping on the couch tonight. I can’t believe you just did that?”

“Birds do it, bees do it…”

“That’s sex! Not farting all over my feet.  _ Ugh _ !” She threw her pizza crust at him. “I hate you.”

\--

Stiles pushed herself up on the counter, next the stove (but far enough away from the danger zone) and watched Derek cook them breakfast. He had just poured the last of the batter into the pan for pancakes when Stiles reached for him and pulled him close. “I won’t let the burn, but I just needed to give you some sugar. You look so cute in my apron.” (It was a bikini babe apron, and Derek looked ridiculous in it.) She planted a quick succession of kisses in a trail from his lips to the curve of his shoulder. “Okay, okay. Go put too many chocolate chips in my pancakes before they burn. 

He saluted her with the spatula, “Anything for you, baby.”

She leaned back, her head resting on the cupboard behind her. After sitting in silence for a little bit, she poked him in the leg with her toes. “Can I tell you something?” She curled her hands around the hot cocoa in her hands, because Derek apparently took the whole ‘his girlfriend had a chocolate craving’ to a whole new level. Derek switched off the burner and flipped the last pancake onto the plate and looked over at her. 

“Hit me. You want strawberri-”

“I love you!”

Derek paused, his reach halfway to the fridge door. “Come again?”

“I know we haven’t said it, but I’ve thought about it a lot, and I know it hasn’t been like  _ that  _ long. And I know we both are a little action packed with issues when it comes to this stuff… but… I wanted to tell you. So that you know. That I do.” Stiles looked down at the cup in her hands, wiggling her fingers a little and then looking up at Derek when he hadn’t responded. “Ya know… Love you.” Derek took a purposeful breath, swallowed hard and looked at Stiles, who was now staring at him. “I’m sorry. That was… that was weird. I should have waited. You don’t have to say it back. That was too soon. We can circle back in like six months.”

“No. No. In six months I will have wanted to tell you six thousand times. Stiles…” He leaned into her, bracing himself with a hand on each side of her head on the cupboard. “You have me. Of course. I  _ love _ you.”

“...it’s not too soon?”

“I could have probably told you the first day I met you.”

“I had crazy eyes! And Cheetos in my hair! And I wasn’t wearing  _ pants _ .”

Derek nuzzled into her neck, nipping at her collar bone. “And yet…”

“I’m judging your taste a little right now Hale.” She squealed as Derek pinched her side.

The pancakes were cold by the time they made it up for air.

\--

Derek was pretty sure he had just hit REM sleep when his phone rang; he usually kept it on silent on his nights off, but it was Stiles’ ring and his girl never went on DND. He felt around on his nightstand, trying not open his eyes because it could just be a butt dial. As soon as he answered it he heard Stiles singing in the background.

“‘Lo?” He cleared the sleep from his voice. “Stiles?”

“Derek?” This voice was definitely not Stiles, so now Derek was All The Way awake. 

“Who is this?”

“Oh my  _ gosh _ . I am so sorry to wake you up! This is Allison, I’m a friend of Stiles - and we were out tonight celebrating -”

Derek could hear some shuffling and Stiles voice came on the line, “Baby, I am a little tiddle bittle drunk.” And then her laugh, that could literally turn his stony heart into a pile of glitter.

“Yeah, so, I am the sober driver tonight and she gave me the address and told me the key was in the little turtle, but… there’s no turtle and I have three other drunk girls to take home.”

He could hear Stiles in the background, “Let me  _ iiiin _ . I have to piddle.”

“So, I am outside … and I think she gave me your address by accident?”

Derek let out a breath, laughing a little, “Stiles never does anything by accident. Give me a minute. What building are you in front of?” Derek lived in a big conglomerate of apartments that tended to all look the same, especially at night. Especially if you were drunk.

“Uhh. Stiles,  _ shhh _ , someone is going to call the police if you don’t shut up. It’s building 3636?” 

Stiles was laughing and singing again, “But you’re on the phone with my most favorite police officer, it’s fiiine.”

“I’m on my way down.”

Derek was already making his way down the stairs, towards the main entrance. He had thrown on a zip up hoodie, as he didn’t want to walk around his building half naked. He saw the two girls thru the door, Stiles swaying back and forth. He pushed the security door open, and leaned against it.

“Oh no! The  _ police _ !” Stiles grinned at him, making her way over to him, falling into him and rubbing her face all over his chest. “Mmm. Chest hair.” She ran her teeth over the skin that was currently under her face, never actually biting him. Derek laughed and pushed her face away. “Quit it, you heathen.”

Allison kept glancing back at her car, that had the other drunk girls of the evening who were apparently playing an intense game of thumb war. Derek waved her off, “Thanks - I got her from here. Thanks for keeping her safe.”

“No, thank  _ you _ ! Life saver. Bye Stiles!” Allison was making her way back to the car, and when the driver’s side door open a chorus of “Byeeee Stilessesssses” was yelled in her direction. Stiles’ face was still smushed into Derek’s hoodie so she waved her hand behind her.

She looked up at him, smiling, her eyes a little unfocused. “ _ Hiiii _ . I got a little drunk.”

“S’okay. Forget where you live?” Derek smiled, planting a kiss on the side of her head. 

“I think my lizard brain wanted cuddles.” Derek was pulling her inside, guiding her towards the stairs and keeping a hand against her back. “Is that okay?”

“I would have been fine even if it was your human brain.”

“Mmm. Good. M’sorry I woke you up.” He guided her down the hall, through his apartment door.

“Don’t apologize, I’d rather have you here than not.”

“Aww. You  _ looove _ me.” She was leaning against him, struggling to get her shoe off. When she finally got it she let out a little ‘woop’. “I want you to know, that I don’t do this -” She waved her hands around, “- often. Or like. More than a few times a decade.”

“It would be okay if you did. C’mon. Let’s go to bed.” He put a hand on each of her shoulders, and guided her to his bedroom. He let her flop down on the bed and twist around until she was on her back. He had thrown the hoodie back into his closet.

“You’re winning the race to naked.”

“Well, you aren’t working very hard to try and beat me.” Stiles was starfished on the bed, blinking up at the ceiling fan.

“I think I forgot how zippers work?”

“Well, come on.” Derek grabbed her hand, and pulled her up into a sitting position at the end of the bed. She wrapped her arms around him, hands settling on the hem of his sweatpants. “...did you just lick my belly button?”

“...no…” She grinned up at him, “Okay, but it’s just an adorable belly button.”

Derek rolled his eyes, pushing her face away as she tried to blow raspberries against his stomach. “Would you just cooperate with me and put your arms up?”

“...oh no, am I under arrest?”

Derek heaved a sigh down at her, “I am trying to make you comfortable and giving you a fighting avantage in the naked race.”

“Ohh!” She raised her arms, and only pretended to pick Derek’s nose once while he pulled her t-shirt off. He undid her bra clasp one handed and Stiles hitched an eyebrow at him, Derek just winked. He flicked the button on her jeans and pulled the zipper down. She made a little breathy noise and wiggled her eyebrows at Derek. 

“Can I trust you to take these off while I go get you some water for your lizard brain? You won’t fall over and brain yourself on any sharp corners?” She stuck her tongue out at him as he walked backwards out the door and made his way to the kitchen to grab her some hydration and a few aspirin. He heard her fumbling around, humming again. When he returned to his room she was sitting on the edge of the bed, all her clothing in a pile on the floor. “...well, I guess you won the naked race. Here, drink this. Swallow these.” She guffawed into her drink as he handed her the aspirin. 

“...swallow…”

“Are you 12?”

“It’s my lizard brain! And it’s right there!” She waved her hand at the general area of his dick as she took another gulp of Gatorade. She grinned at him as he pulled back the blankets and started to get comfortable.

“C’mon.” He held his arms out and waited for her to settle into them. She crawled into his lap, bracketing his thighs between her legs. She leaned forward, bracing her hands against his chest, and kissed him for several seconds. 

“Thanks for taking care of me.”

“Anytime. Now, c’mon. Sleep.” He swatted lightly at her ass and smiled as she squealed into his shoulder. She quickly rearranged her body against his, rubbing her hand up and down his hip. 

She mumbled into his arm pit, “Is your lizard brain sad this didn’t end up in orgasms?”

“My lizard brain will survive until morning. Go to sleep Stiles.”   


“...morning, okay.” She snapped the band of his sweatpants against his hip. “Love you… oh. Oh man. I just got comfortable and I forgot to  _ pee _ ."


End file.
